Reparenting Yourself: The Healing Practice of Becoming Your Own Safe Place
At some point on the healing path, we begin to realise that the love, safety, and soothing we longed for as children can’t always be found by looking outward. Instead, we’re gently called to turn inward… and meet ourselves in the way we’ve always needed.
This is the practice of reparenting.
It’s not about blaming your parents.
It’s not about perfecting or performing.
It’s about compassionately becoming the consistent, loving, and wise presence you may not have always had — but deeply deserved.
What Is Reparenting?
Reparenting is the process of showing up for yourself — emotionally, physically, and spiritually — in a way that provides the nurturing, structure, and safety your younger self might have missed.
Many of us grew up in homes where our emotional needs weren’t fully met. Perhaps love was conditional. Perhaps anger was feared. Perhaps you were praised for being independent, but not supported in your vulnerability.
And so, we adapt. We develop protective patterns — people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional shutdown, over-achieving, avoiding closeness — in order to survive.
But those patterns, while once helpful, can keep us feeling stuck, reactive, or disconnected as adults.
Reparenting gently asks:
✨ What would it feel like to meet those needs now — as the adult I’ve become?
✨ How can I tend to my inner child with love, rather than criticism or shame?
What Does Reparenting Actually Look Like?
It’s not one big act. It’s a series of small, tender ones.
Practised often. Chosen with love.
Here are a few powerful ways to begin reparenting yourself:
1. Emotional Soothing
When you’re overwhelmed, anxious, or spiralling, pause.
Instead of shutting yourself down, try saying:
“It’s okay to feel this. I’m here with you. We’re safe now.”
That simple acknowledgment helps heal the abandonment wound many of us carry.
2. Gentle Boundaries
Reparenting often means saying no where you used to self-abandon, and yes to what supports your nervous system.
Ask yourself: What would a loving parent allow — and what would they protect me from?
3. Reclaiming Play & Joy
Your inner child doesn’t just need healing — they also need space to play, dream, and be silly again.
What did you love as a child? Dance, colouring, tree-climbing, making up songs?
Reintroducing joyful activities isn’t childish — it’s medicine.
4. Consistency & Care
Show up for yourself the way a healthy parent would:
Feed yourself nourishing meals
Go to bed on time
Speak kindly to yourself
Keep the promises you make to yourself (even the little ones)
Safety is built through repetition.
5. Inner Dialogue Shifts
Instead of the harsh inner critic, become your inner coach or nurturer.
Try:
“You’re doing your best.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Let’s take this one step at a time.”
It may feel unfamiliar at first — but so did self-judgement once. Practice creates new patterns.
🌕 Why Now?
We are living in a time where so many of us are unlearning survival mode.
The rise of nervous system healing, somatic work, inner child journeys — these are not trends. They are sacred returns. To safety. To softness. To self-responsibility rooted in love. This Full Moon in the Cancer/Capricorn axis (the mother/father signs of the zodiac) is really lending its energy to this work too
Reparenting is not about fixing yourself.
It’s about remembering that you are already whole — and becoming the consistent, compassionate witness you always needed.
You don’t have to do this alone.
But you do get to start with you.
And that… is a kind of magic.
With love and gentleness on your journey, Penny xxx
