Hello my loves
Well, here we are.. the final month of 2023 – an important time for some reflection. It would be hard to have got through this year without at least once ponding the craziness of the world. How has this year been for you?
Many have had a serious overhaul through 2023, whether that has been moving house, changing or losing jobs, a relationship status change or a sad bereavement. And yet here we are.. so much stronger and more resilient than we might think <3.
Yet with that said, just pushing ourselves through all of these stressors is not a long term (or even short term) solution. It is important to take time out for ourselves and ‘reset’ our nervous systems.
With the month that’s also known for ‘chaos and social activity’ upon us, it is more important than ever to ensure we are attending to our own needs so that we don’t deplete ourselves. December is not an easy month for many people; some find this a terribly lonely time; some wish they had more alone time than they have, and others just torn between too many obligations or pressures..
I’ve said it before but I don’t think this can be stated enough.. Christmas/holiday season celebrations and traditions are not obligatory. In fact I am finding more and more of my clients starting to buck the ‘expectations’ and create their own style of celebrations that fit more authentically.
Because the hard truth is that we have veered so far from what this season is supposed to represent, that the current economic pressures we’re facing right now could oddly ‘help’ us to reconnect with what is most important to us.
Below are some of my top tips for navigating the ‘season to be jolly’, which I hope may help.
Times are tough for many right now, and it is important to be honest about what is achievable right now. Nobody wants you to stretch yourself past your capabilities or comforts, (and if they do then perhaps this might be a connection that needs to be redefined and reduced). If you are honest about things from the start, not only will you make life easier for yourself, but your courage could help others to feel more able to do the same. Plus stretching yourself beyond your limit is likely to cause you to feel resentful, which is the vibration most furthest away from the joy of giving. And this is no good for anyone.
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
Necessity is the mother of invention – if resources feel a bit tight, this is the perfect time to get inventive. Why not join one of the many ‘don’t dump it’ or community help Facebook groups as they have all manner of wonderful things people are simply giving away. Only today I was blessed to pick up a wonderful exercise bike worth over £300 for FREE!! I often give things away on these sites too; it is a really beautiful way of recycling what we no longer need with the added joy of seeing it light up someone else’s life. You could even set up a ‘FREEBIE’ challenge for Xmas, where all gifts have to be from a ‘Free site’, with a rule that you make the same amount of donation posts yourself, so it all balances out.
BE MINDFUL OF WHO YOU SPEND TIME WITH
Another important way we can reduce stress is to be honest with ourselves about who we want to (or can) spend time with. The sad truth is that many of us have people or family members who are not great for our mental health, inner peace and well-being. Sometimes this can be tackled by avoiding alcohol or certain topics of conversation when you are round them, and then it can be tolerated in short spurts. However, in some cases we need to acknowledge there are some relationships so toxic, that we have every right to avoid them completely. If this is you, then please give yourself permission to honour your own needs. You don’t need to put yourself in the firing line for re-traumatising yourself. Bow out gracefully if you need to because trading your sense of self worth for people who cannot treat you with decency should not be something you feel forced into. We teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate.
PRACTICE SELF CARE
December brings a ton of opportunity to over-indulge in every way… food, drink, spending money, numbing out, and celebrations. We may find ourselves veering off course (if indeed we even have a path), and at some point end up feeling a little hollow. It may therefore be worth factoring in a little self care commitment each week for yourself. Take yourself off for a swim and sauna – most community gyms have offers on this time of year, or at least have day passes. Book a massage, do a little adult colouring in while listening to a good podcast, or a story being read on YouTube, perhaps some reflective journalling (prompts below), meditate, stretch, get out for some walks in nature and warm yourself up with a big mug of ceremonial grade cacao to open the heart chakra…. There are so many ways you can practice self care, and the holidays are rife with ideas. When it is dark and cold it is not always easy to motivate yourself to get out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do things inside…
One of the easiest things to do at this time of year is to become resentful… You may find yourself lamenting why other people have it so much better than you, or that you are not being appreciated for all that you have done or given. And all of these things could be true, so I’m not dismissing your feelings. However, the trouble with getting into the vibration of resentment is that it is so addictive and only serves to fuel more of the same and bring your energy down even further into the mire. The antidote to this is to start thinking about anything (literally anything) that you feel grateful for. As you start to connect with the frequency and vibration f gratitude you will naturally start to attract more things to be grateful for. Grandma always used to say ‘count your blessings’, and as trite, or old fashioned as this may sound, it honestly will start to perk you up. Give it a try <3
The end of the year is a wonderful time to take stock of how far you’ve come, to celebrate the things you feel good about, and to acknowledge what changes you’d like to make for next year. Taking time out to journal is a really lovely way to get your thoughts clear. You can do this as simply or as elaborately as you like, and a simple google search will provide a ton of ideas to get you started.
However you choose to spend your December, I am sending you a ton of love and blessings. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Yule or nothing at all, have a Happy December my loves xx